OPKs and the almost postive line

So I have to apologize for not posting my HSG pictures on here. I couldn't open them with my normal computer program but when the holidays come to an end, I'll ask my RE to email them to me.

Now I have some pretty exciting news! I've started really cracking down on doing my OPKs (ovulation predictor kit) and charting my basal body temperature. I have never been able to get a faint positive line on my OPKs but since my HSG, I have witnessed my first (and second and third) faint lines! Now OPKs are similar to pregnancy tests in the sense of detecting a specific hormone and usually you have to use urine in order to detect these hormones.  The difference is that OPKs detect what's called LH (luteinizing hormone) and pregnancy tests detect your hCG (human chorionic gonadotropin). You need your LH to be high enough to successfully ovulate and OPKs will indicate that. With OPKs, they will have a control line which will be dark in color and the test line will be darker or as dark as the control line if it's positive.  If it's lighter or there's no line, it's considered negative in the sense that there isn't enough LH to successfully ovulate.  When you do get a positive OPK, usually you have anywhere between 24 to 48 hours before you ovulate which means...you'll have to get busy. ;)

So since I was never able to ovulate, I've never been able to  see any thing on my OPKs. Since my tubes have been cleared, I've been able to get the fainest positive line I've ever seen. I was so excited that I decided to start looking on Amazon.com for OPKs and was lucky enough to find that Wondfo (a producer of OPKs and pregnancy tests) was selling 100 OPKs and 20 pregnancy tests for around $25. That's a steal considering that you can get 20 OPKs at Target for about $10-$15.

Since I have started testing, I've had 3 faint positives and they seem to be getting darker. I've read that it could mean nothing considering that they're considered negative but then I've also read that some women experience a fade-in result meaning that you can potentially see a pattern of your OPKs starting off very faint and gradually getting darker until you get a positive OPK.  If you have a regular and consistent menstrual cycle, it would be easier for you to predict when your ovulation day (O day) would be. I unfortunately do not have that regular cycles so it's a little hard to predict. But I'm hoping I'm experiencing the fade-in process and will see my positive OPK soon!! The nice thing is, if we are able to get pregnant this month, my estimated due date would be September 10, 2013....mine and my husband's anniversary date. I'm so cheesy but I think that's adorable.

This is my first test that I have been able to get a faint line in.  It also provides a better visual of what I'm talking about.

A website I'm starting to become addicted to is PeeOnAStick.com.  It has basically all the in's and out's of peeing on sticks, both OPKs and pregnancy tests. But if you want to see what a fade-in process is with OPK's, here's the link : http://www.peeonastick.com/opkodyssey.html
I thought this was pretty cool and it gave me hope for my OPKs. I am keeping tabs on my tests to see if there is any pattern at all and I'll keep posting them on here to keep you all up to speed too!

"Faith is taking the first step even when you don't see the whole staircase." - Martin Luther King Jr.

The results are in!

So I went in for my HSG test today and it was an experience I wasn't expecting.  First off, they make you fast for 4 hours prior to the procedure.  Well, with working nights fasting 4 hours prior to the procedure means not eating for the entire day. Oh my I was hungry. Secondly, I don't know if it was just the radiology center I went to that requires this but they need me to bring an unopened pregnancy test just to ensure that I was not with child and that the doctor was able to continue with the HSG safely. 

So I was told that I should take Tylenol or Motrin and a muscle relaxer so nothing would spasm and create a problem during the test.  Because I wasn't able to eat anything, I opted to not take any pain relievers or muscle relaxers.  So I was a little scared that this was going to hurt like hell. Paps are already uncomfortable and I was assuming this was the granddaddy of all paps. Actually, I was a bit surprised. It was not painful at all but slightly uncomfortable although it was totally bearable. I'll take you through the process.

First, they make you undress from the waist down. They'll give you a gown and you'll go into the exam room equipped with the x-ray machine and several monitors for the doctor to look at when he's doing the procedure.  You'll be sterilized and they will wash out the inside of you with a surgical soap to prevent infection.  A very small catheter will be inserted in the cervix and then slowly dye will be injected.  I swear I did not feel anything when this happened. I was expecting pain but it was virtually pain free. The doctor and nurse were really nice and made me feel extremely comfortable because when you're spread eagle and going through this process, the last thing you need is to be even more uncomfortable.  The whole procedure lasted maybe 30 minutes from start to finish. I was very happy with this experience (aside from hitting traffic to and from there).

Now for my results.  Good news and bad news.  Bad news was that both my fallopian tubes were blocked. I can't add the pictures up here now but give me a day or two and I'll be able to upload them. You can see where the dye was just sitting in my uterus and basically had no where to go.  At one point during the procedure, the doctor asked me to describe how I was feeling.  I told him I was fine and wasn't uncomfortable. Now the reason why he asked me was because either he kept filling my uterus with dye up to it's capacity or he increased the PSI because during the test, he was able to clear the blockages from both tubes. Obviously that's the good news! My tubes are clear and ready to start dropping eggs! He was extremely happy with how everything looked but said there was something about the outside of the uterus that he wasn't too content about but nonetheless, he didn't think there should be an issue with my tubes transporting eggs now.

Thank God!  I was praying for this news because I'm literally reaching a point where this is all so overwhelming. I know not a lot of people nowadays are religious but I really try to keep my faith.  For those who don't know, I'm Catholic but I'm not really active, meaning I regularly attend church like I should.  I recently started researching who the Patron Saint of infertility is and I came across a couple of Saints but one really stood out to me.  Saint Margaret of Antioch. So I started praying to her and of course to God to help me through all of this. I'm not trying to push my religious beliefs on anyone because I truly believe that all religions are sacred.  I know it goes against the Christian belief but I honestly don't care and I believe in my heart God wouldn't care either.  There are people who will disagree with me but we'll just agree to disagree in this case.  Anyways, so I feel like I'm on cloud 9 now.  The thought that maybe (just maybe) my blocked tubes were the only reason why we weren't able to get pregnant.

I was so ecstatic to tell my hubby.  When he came into the room to take a look at the pictures from the test, I could tell he was extremely nervous. So when I told him that both tubes were blocked, his heart dropped. But after telling him the doctor was able to clear both tubes, he was just elated and that made my day.  To see the man that I love and cherish become so excited made all of this worthwhile.  I just hope that this means we're able to conceive naturally and without problems.

Now you're probably wondering what was the blockage (like a blood clot). Although it's not 100% but the doctor believes it was a mucous plug which happens to a lot of women. He doesn't know how it ends up there or what causes it but it is very common.  There are other types of blockages that can cause tubes to clog up such as scar tissue.  I read that the main contributor to blocked tubes was pelvic inflammatory disease (PID) which is usually from an STD.  Now, I want to let you know that I've never had an STD and I still had blocked tubes.  So you can be as healthy as can be and still experience this.  I don't want someone to be naive and think that it can never happen to you. That was my thought and it did happen to me. I don't want to instill fear in you either but just be prepared for anything.  If you are experiencing some trouble conceiving, try asking for an HSG as soon as possible to rule out blocked tubes.  There's no sense in starting fertility treatments such as Chlomid or Metformin, etc. if your tubes are blocked.  If they're blocked, nothing is getting through. Save yourself the hassle, money, heartbreak, and stress and try to push your RE or OBGYN for the HSG.

Like I said, I will post the pictures from the procedure soon.  They're actually really cool to look at and see what exactly is in there. I didn't know this: the uterus prior to becoming pregnant is actually very small.  I was thinking it was a decent size since a baby grows in there but it's not. The analogy the doctor gave was the egg and sperm are tiny and they need a small, confined space to meet each other or they'll get lost. Makes sense.

"Optimism is the faith that leads to achievement." - Helen Keller

HSG

So I have my HSG scheduled for later today! I'm nervous as all hell but I'm antsy to see what happens.  I've been praying that everything looks ok in there and my body is just regulating itself.  I'm a little scared that it may hurt a little (or a lot) and that they will see that my tubes are blocked. I'll be ok with one tube that's obstructed (although I'd prefer none to be) but if both are blocked, we'll have to start saving for an IUI. So, please pray (or if you're religious, send positive thoughts) for me that everything looks good! I'll still try to post the video or pictures of the process on here in case you're curious.

I'm on day 10 of this new cycle and aside from the ruptured cyst, everything has been pretty good. I'm not bleeding as nearly long as I was with the previous cycle (thank God!) and I've noticed some hormonal changes that coincide with a menstrual cycle. Maybe what I needed was the cyst to rupture in order to get everything working right. Now I haven't really posted much because it's now just a waiting game.  Even though this is the first cycle I'm not on any type of hormone treatment, I'm still going to try and record my basal temperatures and try using OPK (ovulation predictor kits).

On a side note, I hope everyone is enjoying the holiday season! I for one am excited about this Christmas and New Years because in about 5 years, I don't have to work it and I can finally spend it with my family! (Yay me) My piece of advice, don't stress the small things, pick your battles carefully this holiday season, and enjoy family and friend time!

"Half our life is spent trying to find something to do with the time we have rushed through life trying to save." - Will Rogers

A trip to the ER

So yesterday I was experiencing this excruciating pain in my pelvic area.  I thought it was
just cramps from my period.  I have been given a great gift of not having to experience cramps, so I thought this is what they were.  Oh boy I was 100% incorrect.  I woke up with this incredibly dull, throbbing pain but it was so painful to the point where I couldn't walk.  A couple nights prior to this I was very uncomfortable.  I couldn't sit still at work.  If I walked around, I was in pain. If I sat down, I was in pain. If I reclined my chair, still in pain. There wasn't anything I could do that would alleviate this pain.  I took ibuprofen, worked a little but the pain was still there. So when I woke up, I just thought this was a continuation of what I was feeling before.

I continued my day by trying to get ready for work.  I got up to get my clothes ready but I felt even worse.  Not only was I experiencing this immense pain, I had become nauseated and very light headed.  I laid for a bit to see if everything would subside but that wasn't so. At this point, I felt like I was being such a drama queen.  I wanted to suck it up and go to work. As I sat up, I knew I needed to fix whatever was happening to me.  Unfortunately before that were to happen, I needed to throw up.  After that, I thought I would feel better but with strained abdominal muscles made the pain worse.  It was at this point I decided that I needed to go to the ER.

On the way there, my husband had turned on the seat warmer to the passenger seat for me because I was really cold.  I noticed that the heat really alleviated the pain and I was actually comfortable.  I was so comfortable I was able to sleep on the way to the ER. 

Time seemed to stand still in the waiting room.  I was in a lot of pain again. I felt nauseous, weak, and tired. I wanted anti-nausea and pain meds...stat.  Once I was able to get a room, I got hooked up on an IV and was given my anti-nausea medicine. Instant relief but the pain was still there.  In order to get any type of pain relief, they needed to make sure I was not pregnant. So they drew blood and as soon as the results showed that I was not preggo, I was given a little bit of heaven in a vial: Dilaudid. Oh...my...God. I could literally feel the relieve consuming my body. So after the pain was gone, my doctor said he believes that the pain I was experiencing was related to either an appendicitis or an ovarian cyst that ruptured. I didn't know those two could be closely related symptom-wise but one would require immediate emergency surgery, the other could be taken care of with the assistance of medication. He said that the blood did not show signs that my appendix was inflamed.  So he suspected that a ruptured cyst could be the culprit. I was ordered to do a trans uterine and trans vaginal ultra sound to ensure that this was true.

I was so lucky this night because my ER doctor and my Ultrasound tech were both there when I went in the ER when I had the everlasting period.  So they both knew what we were going through and they clearly remembered who I was.  It was nice not having to retell my story of the prior time I was in the ER.  After the ultrasound, I was in pain again. Not too bad but bad enough where I asked for another shot of Dilaudid. I was able to be comfortable again and we just waited to hear back from the doctor. When he returned, he said that the ultrasound looked fine but he wasn't able to see my appendix. He said that we can either go home and see how I am during the night and if I still have the same symptoms, I need to return ASAP and they'll have to do a CT scan.  He then said my other option was to stay for a couple more hours and have the CT scan to make sure my appendix was okay. I have to say, my hubby was way cute here. Before I can even answer, he asks the doctor "if this was your wife, what would you do?" My doctor said "I'd want the CT scan." So that was that.

My CT scan was a long process. First I had to drink iodine and wait for two hours to hit my system. Then they took me to radiology, hooked me up via IV to about 100 mL of iodine and 100 mL of Saline, shot them consecutively and then proceeded with the CT scan.  About an hour later, my doctor walks in and says appendix is fine. This was more likely a ruptured cyst and the best thing was just pain meds.

Being diagnosed with a mild version of PCOS, I think knowing the symptoms of a possible ruptured ovarian cyst is very important to know.  I had extreme amounts of pain in my abdomen and my lower back.  My legs somewhat hurt more towards my hips as well. I felt very faint, weak, and nauseous. I vomited and felt very uncomfortable no matter what I did. If any of you ladies experience this, I promise you won't die (I honestly thought I was going to because the pain was so immense.) I do suggest going to the ER to ensure that nothing else is wrong. The body will naturally absorb any fluid and blood that the cyst expels and there really isn't a great concern for infection (this was per my ER doctor). Best thing I have found: Tylenol, heat and rest!!

In the meantime, December 11th is my scheduled HSG! Cross your fingers for a good looking uterus and open tubes! I know that my RE asked for the CD that has either video or pictures of the procedure so I'll try to upload whatever I can on here. I tried to YouTube HSG procedures and there wasn't many. Might as well show mine.

"The very least you can do in your life is to figure out what you hope for. And the most you can do is live inside that hope. Not admire it from a distance but live right in it, under its roof." - Barbara Kingsolver

To inject or not to inject, that is the question

So, since my last update, my RE has received the results back for all the tests she needed for me.  Good news, I was negative for diabetes (yay me). Bad news, for some reason, I have an issue with insulin.  Now I didn't really understand what the exact problem was so I'll have to have her explain again what happened.  She did say that my blood showed an increase in toxin levels in my liver.  She said that drinking alcohol can contribute to it but for those who know me, I don't really drink.  Another thing that could cause this is my weight.  So this should be a big enough booster to start shedding those unnecessary pounds.  It'll be hard but I need to change my lifestyle.  Another possibility: I could've over exercised.  Sounds like a lame excuse but I read that if you overexert yourself around the time you need to have blood work done to check your liver, enzymes can become elevated showing abnormal levels.  So, I'll have to have my primary physician take blood again to check if it is a correlation with my weight and or if it can be related to the amount of exercise I did a couple hours before (I started doing Insanity and let me tell you, it really is insane).  So because of the strenuous amount of exercise I did (and I didn't really do anything that hard before in a couple of years) I'm hoping that this is the reason my enzymes are elevated. I'll keep you updated on that issue.

The next test that my doctor wants me to take is called a hysterosalpingogram or HSG for short.  The purpose of this test is to see if there is anything wrong with the uterus or if there is a blockage within the fallopian tubes.  You're probably asking (or Googling right now), how are they going to check to see all of this? Well sit back and I'll explain.  Basically, radiologists will inject a type of dye in the uterus and watch on a screen (in real time) to see if the dye is able to travel up from the uterus into both fallopian tubes and secrete into the abdomen.  The dye will naturally be absorbed into the body.  Now if there is an obstruction in the fallopian tubes, obviously the dye will not exit it and stay inside.  With this dye, radiologists will be able to record if there is anything else wrong such as an abnormal uterine shape. So cross your fingers that none of my tubes are closed.  We've been dealt pretty crappy cards in this hand of poker and we'd really like some good news.

Along with the elevated number enzymes, my RE does not want to put me on Metformin because it can elevate the enzymes even more.  She suggested that we try injectable hormones.  The downside (aside from the obvious poking of the needles) is the cost.  They run about $70 a pop and I need 10. Holy smokes! I for sure can't just spare $700 just like that.  I am not going to break the bank for this.  Don't get me wrong, I want a baby.  I want to become pregnant. I want a family but I'm not going to drive myself into debt and low and behold we get pregnant.  Then we're stuck with a financial conundrum. I don't want to start a family like that.  If this means that we start saving, then that's what we have to do.  I have been looking for assistance programs.  There are several sites believe it or not that do offer some type of financial assistance or break.  There's one pharmacy called freedomfertility.com that offers the injectables at about $70 per unit and if I understand it right, will reimburse you roughly $62? so about $8/unit.  This is awesome granted that the reimbursement is via mail in rebate. The downside is that we would have to pay $700 upfront.

So all of this is really taking it's toll on us. I'm always hoping to hear some good news and great strides of progress but it seems like we keep going down dead ends.  I won't lie, today was hard but I just need to have my pity party of 1 (or 2 if the hubby wants to join in) and then I can get over. Like I've said before, I'll have more good days than bad but I can't help to have the bad.  I have those thoughts of mothers and fathers who want nothing to do with their kids and why they were blessed to have children but we're having such a difficult time with this.  I think that's what gets me upset the most. But I am really trying to stay optimistic and think that my HSG will be normal and maybe this cycle, I can ovulate! Keep your fingers crossed!!

"Success or failure depends more upon attitude than upon capacity.  Successful men act as though they have accomplished or are enjoying something.  Soon it becomes a reality. Act, look, feel successful, conduct yourself accordingly, and you will be amazed at the positive results."  - William James

Many thanks!

I want to take this time and thank everyone for their outreach and support.  It's very welcoming and appreciated! I don't want anyone to feel sorry for us though.  We're very hopeful about the whole thing and we just ask for people to stay positive for us as well.

It's amazing what similar stories I've heard from friends and family in comparison to mine since posting this blog.  I want to be able to let others know that fertility issues are very common.  Actually, there's just a slim chance per cycle for a pregnancy to become successful.  Even when you're charting your temperature, checking mucus, counting days, you have to plan the "baby dance" just right.  If it's too early, those little swimmers can die.  If it's too late, they'll just pass right by each other.  Believe me, getting pregnant isn't a breeze.  Sometimes I wish the lie you believed as a child about kissing and getting pregnant was true!

So I really don't have any new updates.  I'm nearing the end of my 10 day stint of Progesterone which helped with my 30 day torture. I believe (and hope) after this, I'll be able to start the next round of Clomid and Metformin.  The great thing about our RE is that she wants to take every opportunity to see what we can do to increase our chances of getting pregnant.  She actually offered us to do an in vitro fertilization (IVF) but I want to see if I'm capable of doing this naturally.

IVF (for those who may not know) is different than an IUI (intrauterine insemination).  An IVF consists of fertilizing an egg outside of the uterus and then implanting it while an IUI is when semen is injected directly into the uterus around the time of ovulation.  IUI's cost less than IVF's but can still run a pretty high bill, even with great insurance.  Something that I've learned is that the State of California does require insurance companies to cover fertility treatments.  The guidelines that meet the definition of "infertility" is being diagnosed by a specialist or by having unprotected sex for over a year without being able to sustain a pregnancy to full term.  This is great because it's giving couples hope to try different methods to become pregnant.  The downside, IVF treatments are not covered.  Insurance companies can offer coverage for it but they are not required to do so.  Our specific insurance company will not cover ovulation induction, IVF, or artificial insemination but they'll cover the underlying medical cause for infertility.  Hopefully whatever treatments we need to go through, our insurance company will be able to cover most of the cost.

Many thanks again for all of you who have read this and have spoken to me, even liked my Facebook post advertising this!! I am simply amazed at the volume of readers I received in just one day! I hope that all of you will continue to come back and read this because I am so excited to keep sharing not only my experience, but my husband's as well!  Thank you all!!

“So many of our dreams at first seems impossible, then they seem improbable, and then, when we summon the will, they soon become inevitable.”  - Christopher Reeve

Forgotten advice

I forgot to mention some pieces of advice:

- Don't make it chore when you're trying for a baby (the act that is).  There is nothing worse than to kill the mood when you feel forced to do "it" because you (or if you're a guy, you're female partner/wife/girlfriend) happen to be ovulating or you think you can be ovulating soon.  Make sure that it stays romantic and enjoyable.  I know I dont want to remember conception as a stressful thing.  I want to remember it as my husband and I being romantic. 

- Be sure to spend time with your partner.  There are going to be times when women can be quite snappy, mainly because of those darn hormones (remember in Knocked Up when Seth Rogan and Katherine Heigl had their spat in the doctors office?) Men will naturally become distant to give their girlfriend or wife some room.  Sometimes this can lead into arguments and this is all okay!  It happens.  But make time for each other and remind each other the love you have for him or her.  Sort of keeping with the above listed advice, keep the romance alive!  If you feel overwhelmed with all of this, try holding off your TTC (trying to conceive) efforts and focus on each other. 

On a side note: I say partner because I am a firm believer in not being biased.  There are many couples who want to have children together but don't want to be married.  So I don't want to tailor my blogs to only those who are married.  I also want to include gay and lesbian couples as well.  All walks of life can experience things my husband and I have experienced (although men won't be able to really relate to woman-specific problems, like ovulation) but I want to welcome everyone to this.

Please feel free to share this blog as well! 

Friends - The Inhospitable Environment

The Beginning

A little bit about us

Hi! My name is Deborah and I'm 25 years old.  My husband and I met in 2009 and were married in 2011 on our two year anniversary (cute, right?) My life was (and still is) absolutely picture perfect and there wasn't anything that could taint it.  On our honeymoon, the baby question came up.  Do we wait for a year or two, enjoy our "honeymoon phase" and start a family after? Do we skip that and start now?  The decision was unanimous and we decided we wanted to start our family as soon as we can.  I wasn't scared that we weren't ready.  I had accomplished what I wanted to accomplish at my age.  I had one more semester of college before earning my Bachelor's degree in Psychology.  We had a house, stable incomes, and love to go around world a million times.  There was no doubt in my mind that my darling husband wasn't ready to become a father and that I wasn't ready to be a mother.  So, needless to say, we started to try and conceive our first child right away.

How we got here

After 9 months of negative pregnancy tests, I decided to take action and visit my gyno.  I explained to him that we had been trying and had no luck.  To be honest with you, I really didn't even know much about conceiving, well, I thought I knew a lot about it but realized I didn't.  I started Googling conception, pregnancy, ovulation, etc.  It was basically sex education all over again.  Here I am, 25 years old and I basically have to relearn about the birds and the bees!  After reading up on ovulation, I decided to start tracking my ovulation with at-home ovulation predictor kits.  I did not realize what a pretty penny you can pay for these.  So, needless to say, I was hoping for a positive ovulation test ASAP.  A couple months passed, still no pregnancy.  I went back to my gyno with  my concerns that something can be very wrong and thus our journey to fertility started.  I began giving blood, doing ultrasounds and my husband did the semen analysis in hopes that something can be resolved.  Come to find out, the problem lied within me.  I wasn't ovulating, period.  My heart sank and I began thinking of the worst possible situation there was: I wouldn't be able to give birth to our biological child.  I was in utter shock.  I felt disappointed, embarrassed, guilty, ashamed, angry, and extremely sad, almost depressed.  I wanted answers immediately and I wanted to know how to fix it.


The first thing we tried was 100 mg of Clomid which consisted of 5 pills starting on Day 3 of my cycle.  The side effects were a complete trip!  I experienced hot flashes like no other.  I had slight abdominal pain, slight bloating but I was way emotional.  I'd cry over movies, commercials, songs, and pictures! On Day 23, I went in for my blood draw and when the results were ready, I wasn't prepared to hear them.  My hCG levels had dropped. I went from around 5 to around 2.  My next two cycles yielded even worse results.  My levels kept dropping. The second was reported at 0.9 and my last was <0.5. What was going on?

So this might be a little TMI but my goal with this blog is to tell my story in hopes that if another couple are experiencing the same thing, they are able to see that they're not alone.  After my third round of Clomid, my cycle was way screwed up.  I literally had a period for almost 30 days.  I ended up going to urgent care for another issue but when the "first day of your last period" question came up, I had to tell the physician what was happening. His jaw hit the floor and told my husband and me that we needed to go to the ER right away.  They took me in right away and advised me that they need to make sure I didn't need a blood transfusion for blood loss.  That was scary to hear.  Luckily I didn't and I wasn't anemic but they wanted to see what was happening inside me.  I went in for an ultrasound and the ultrasound tech showed me that there was a follicular cyst on my right ovary.  She didn't seem concerned at all which made me feel better.  Once the ER doctor looked over my ultrasounds, he said that the cyst looked like I was prepping for ovulation.  My eyes swelled with tears and I looked over at my husband.  He had the same look as I did.  The doctor was a little freaked out.  I explained that it has been over a year since we started trying to have a baby and this was the best news we've received.  But ovulation never took place.

I had a follow up appointment with my gyno and explained what had happened this cycle.  He told me that the Clomid may not have been enough which is why my period lasted so long and that we needed to start looking at taking more aggressive measures.  He referred me to a reproductive endocrinologist and said that he will prescribe another round of Clomid at 150 mg.  We had a consultation with our fertility specialist and she seemed very optimistic about our situation.  The best thing was our age. We discussed the round of Clomid that my gyno wanted me to do and she suggested that I should take another type of medication called Metformin in conjunction with Clomid.  I did discuss with her the problem with this cycle.  She seemed a little concerned about it and wanted to do an ultrasound.  I've had so many ultrasounds at this point, I feel like I can do a pretty damn good job deciphering what the blotchy black, white, and grey things on the monitor are!  My RE (reproductive endocrinologist) saw that there was more than one follicular cyst on my ovary.  Actually it was like the cysts decided to have party and invite their cystic friends and just didn't bother telling their hostess (me).

Now, if you're just starting to try to conceive or you think you're experiencing some problems conceiving, maybe you're seeing a specialist or you're thinking of trying for a baby in the near future and you don't know what Clomid or Metformin is, I'll sum it up in a nutshell. Now I am not a doctor by any means. Do NOT take anything I say as medical advice.  Your best bet is to leave it up to the professionals.  I just happened to be curious about what I was taking and wanted to really be educated on it.  So, Clomid (or clomifene/clomiphene) will basically stimulate ovulation by inhibiting specific hormones. I recently learned this from my gyno; Clomid can only be taken for 6 cycles.  The max dosage is about 500 mg although you really run the risk of hyperstimulation of the ovaries which isn't good. Metformin, in my case, is being used to combat PCOS (polycystic ovarian syndrome).  It will decrease the size and number of cysts on my ovaries.  The nice thing was the largest cyst measured about 2 mm.  With the use of Metformin and Clomid, I should be able to ovulate normally.  Along with the blood tests, I was ordered to do an insulin resistance test (this can go hand in hand with PCOS and I was never diabetic).  The next test my RE wants to do is a dye test known as an HSG.  This is when they inject dye in my fallopian tubes to determine if there is a blockage which can contribute to the lack of ovulation.

Needless to say, we have a long road ahead of us.  I say that because even if the Clomid and Metformin work and we do become pregnant, I have to ensure that I have a healthy pregnancy.  Since this is our first child, we do plan on having more children.  If we have problems now, we won’t know if we’ll have problems again.  These are the things I’ve learned through this experience:

1.       You can’t really stress too much.  I would be lying if I said you can’t stress at all and it’s not possible to not stress out.  This is very stressful and very emotionally draining.  I had conducted a study for my thesis when I received my Bachelor’s degree and it was on social support and the levels of stress.  I found that the higher your social support, the less stress you’ll report feeling.  This has been completely true for me.  I was lucky enough to be part of a group of women on Facebook who were trying to conceive their first child and it has been such a wonderful experience.  I can tell them pretty much anything (even very TMI parts) and they have always been there offering support and advice.  So, if you’re stressing or you feel alone, there are plenty of websites (such as wte.com) to find other couples that are going through similar situations. 

2.      Keep some humor in your experience.  It will be hard but sometimes you’ll need a good laugh.  I’m a total Friends fanatic and I crack up when Monica says that her “uterus is an inhospitable environment" and Chandler….well, it’s Chandler.  I’ll post a link to the video.  I’m sure you’ll find the humor in it as well.

3.      Talk it out.  You can’t keep everything bottled up.  Talk to your partner, friends, family, or support group.  I know a majority of couples want to keep their pregnancy plans a secret, but sometimes you just need a good talk to keep your sanity.  My husband and I were like that.  We only wanted to tell our immediate family when we became pregnant and then when that 8 week mark came, we’d tell the whole world.  Well, after 14 months of no pregnancy, I had enough of the secret (hence the blog).  I wanted to let everyone know that we were trying but hitting some road blocks.  Another reason why I opted to tell people about this was because I saw some parents not taking advantage of spending quality time with their own children.  It hurts to see this because those parents don’t realize how lucky they have it when they have a child who wants to spend time with them.  If you know someone like this or maybe this is you, please, please, please take advantage of that time because there is someone out there wishing they were in that position.

4.      Educate yourself.  Ask your gyno, primary physician, FS, or any other medical professional anything that may concern you.  If you’re taking medication to help you get pregnant but you don’t really understand what it does, ask!  Be informed about your body.  If that means start charting your basal body temperature, checking your cervical mucus, taking ovulation predictor tests, etc., do it! Keep a journal or log book.  The best book I ever bought was What to Expect Before Expecting.  It has turned into my go-to book.

5.      Stay positive!  One thing that really kept my spirits up was buying a baby outfit.  I swear I’m not crazy but it’s nice to have something there to remind us that anything is possible. 

6.   It's ok to feel envious, angry, or sad.  I've gone through all those feelings.  Women in my support group have experienced this as well. IT IS NORMAL!! When you find out a friend or family member is pregnant and you're jealous, just realize that the jealousy is there because you want to be in their position and don't take it personally.  I'm sure they didn't intentionally get pregnant to make you feel mad or jealous.  If they did, I'd really reconsider that type of relationship.

Whether this is your first child you’re trying for or your twentieth, I hope this blog helps in some way.  I plan to continue to update this with everything we go through in hopes that this alleviates some sort of stress or anguish for another couple going through similar circumstances.  I apologize ahead of time for possible TMI posts but this isn't supposed to be raunchy or dirty in any way, shape or form.  I like to keep things classy but I do want to be informative because in all honesty, it helps when you're going through something similar.  So with that, please check back for more updates!


"Failure is impossible." -Susan B. Anthony